ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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