Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you still have your period?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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