drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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