why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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