he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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