She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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