Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
