Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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