If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why do cheetos always look like penises
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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