I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
