I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
