a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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