So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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