when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
