Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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