You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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