Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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