omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I yelled at your uterus for you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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