I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
