just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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