I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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