ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
