she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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