i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
