normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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