I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
