69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I love having hate sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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