worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
