I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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