a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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