she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
