my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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