Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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