Swine flu. Run for my life!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
