Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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