I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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