Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
