God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
