I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
