WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
