I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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