it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
did i walk over a car last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.