Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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(217): View more from Illinois

I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(312): View more from Illinois

My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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(301): View more from Maryland

I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...

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(719): View more from Colorado

We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.

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