Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  im drinking this country out of the recession.

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  (804): im drinking this country out of the recession. http://tfl.nu/s99f
  Replies (23) Good night (2125) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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  (845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar
  Replies (17) Good night (1022) Bad night (2750)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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  (918): we should wear snuggies to the strip club http://tfl.nu/cih2
  Replies (17) Good night (6415) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.

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  (972): The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup. http://tfl.nu/267r
  Replies (25) Good night (5325) Bad night (1400)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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  (561): No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south http://tfl.nu/5xop
  Replies (4) Good night (2523) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

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  (347): She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her http://tfl.nu/h5zu
  Replies (10) Good night (4513) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (+86): View more from China

  Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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  (+86): Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported. http://tfl.nu/uoj6
  Replies (10) Good night (5737) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3118) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

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  (817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2505) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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  (770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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  (828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.

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  (636): So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN. http://tfl.nu/pnvk
  Replies (3) Good night (1201) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.

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  (214): Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas. http://tfl.nu/qczi
  Replies (7) Good night (1094) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

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  (941): Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult http://tfl.nu/exna
  Replies (8) Good night (2048) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"

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  (609): he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you" http://tfl.nu/enmx
  Replies (10) Good night (349) Bad night (698)

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