so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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