the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I