oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now