Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  "Monday" is guna come over...

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  but its Thursday?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go

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  (225): "Monday" is guna come over... (1-225): but its Thursday? (225): yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go http://tfl.nu/xdyf
  Replies (5) Good night (1649) Bad night (587)
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  (562): View more from California

  hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

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  (562): hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available http://tfl.nu/v31e
  Replies (5) Good night (1232) Bad night (631)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

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  (585): The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi. http://tfl.nu/64lh
  Replies (10) Good night (4036) Bad night (1366)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"

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  (719): He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that" http://tfl.nu/ec8j
  Replies (12) Good night (8168) Bad night (1970)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

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  (630): all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave http://tfl.nu/0ff9
  Replies (10) Good night (2976) Bad night (1062)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4307) Bad night (1402)
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  (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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  (716): IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again. http://tfl.nu/cfdh
  Replies (7) Good night (2258) Bad night (976)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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  (412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car. http://tfl.nu/qdlm
  Replies (9) Good night (2253) Bad night (844)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.

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  (806): I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit. http://tfl.nu/a0hw
  Replies (4) Good night (2636) Bad night (856)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

  (830): View more from Texas

  You are so not ready for motherhood

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  (210): Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat (830): You are so not ready for motherhood http://tfl.nu/j27j
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (1881)
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (904)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"

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  (313): "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead" http://tfl.nu/zzf1
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (730)
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  (858): View more from California

  He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone

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  (858): He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone http://tfl.nu/52cs
  Replies (8) Good night (1353) Bad night (380)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.

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  (941): I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present. http://tfl.nu/9c6n
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (427)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i need to put some appletini on your dick

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  (616): i need to put some appletini on your dick http://tfl.nu/eyq7
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (333)

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