Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...

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  (502): so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina... http://tfl.nu/yr74
  Replies (48) Good night (1257) Bad night (5912)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.

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  (251): I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa. http://tfl.nu/la3v
  Replies (26) Good night (4349) Bad night (672)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.

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  (517): it was like weight watchers had a halloween party. http://tfl.nu/kblp
  Replies (15) Good night (652) Bad night (4508)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.

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  (954): you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid. http://tfl.nu/mqq2
  Replies (5) Good night (3765) Bad night (858)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

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  (806): You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito. http://tfl.nu/i4sd
  Replies (19) Good night (6461) Bad night (950)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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  (252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42
  Replies (20) Good night (1244) Bad night (4658)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.

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  (919): He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great. http://tfl.nu/il4g
  Replies (4) Good night (2429) Bad night (962)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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  (716): i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me http://tfl.nu/peek
  Replies (9) Good night (3380) Bad night (936)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1246) Bad night (525)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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  (727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (553)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (446)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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  (603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq
  Replies (7) Good night (610) Bad night (1103)
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  (530): View more from California

  At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.

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  (530): At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up. http://tfl.nu/1byu
  Replies (1) Good night (1299) Bad night (405)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.

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  (806): The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington. http://tfl.nu/ua8t
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (221)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....

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  (713): It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking.... http://tfl.nu/vznz
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (161)

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