They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood