Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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