And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
