I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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