Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
