She's JV to your varsity
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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