His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
