Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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