Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
