I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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