he wants to bone in the snuggie
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
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It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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