Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize