we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need moral support for this bender
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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