Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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