Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
