Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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