If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Who died my cat blue again?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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