I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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